So What?

My friend Sammi - and I remind him of this often - once carelessly tweeted (I will never call it X) a thing that effectively changed my brain chemistry for good. It was a nothing tweet and I forget the exact wording but it was something along the lines of

“I don’t care who likes what I like, I just want to like my thing in peace.”

As someone who has spent a good 3 decades of the almost 4 I’ve lived, trying desperately to fit in, to like the right things, say the right things and not be so blithely unaware of social cues, that tweet couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. I had found myself (at the time) starting to compromise the one thing I never had till then - my sense of style.

“Maybe it’s the way you dress that’s the problem”

I thought to myself because so far making myself smaller, being less opinionated, quieter and doing my best to be dumber hadn’t worked. Must be the clothes I thought, and as I tried so hard to be the most beige version of myself possible, I stumbled upon that tweet. To say it saved me, might seem like an overstatement, but it truly did. I was drowning in “what ifs” and “how comes”, then along came this random tweet with the most succinct “so what?” possible. It immediately became my mantra.

So what? So what if you don’t like me? So what if you don’t like what I’m doing here? So what if you don’t like the things I like, speak the way I speak or see the world the way I do? So what if you think I’m the villain in your story? So what if I actually am? So bloody what? Go where your opinion matters, because it is certainly not here. As long as I’m not harming anyone, myself or constituting any sort of menace to society at large, so what? When I’m not a multibillion dollar company fracking in remote parts of Nigeria, with no care for the health of the population, or an extremely wealthy person who’s contributed nothing but carbon emissions to the world, no. I’m just a woman, minding her business in her corner of the world, having a blast in her corner of internet real estate, doing things that bring her joy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do understand the dangers of being disliked, especially when the people who dislike you are the violent kind with nothing to lose. I’ve been there, more than a few times, but you know what I did each time? Resolve to be even more of myself. No longer do I give thought to what people think of me, when I was younger it consumed me (rightfully so, the people who disliked me bullied me relentlessly and often violently) but I have since learned to just get away from them, because like I said in my birthday post, sometimes people are mad and you cannot let mad people dictate how you live. You must, as a necessity to your survival, insist and persist on being yourself. I have also learned that being disliked must mean I'm not a yawnfest. People are generally apathetic to the boring and full of loathing for interesting people, therefore, being disliked must mean you’re at the very least, interesting even if that interest is fuelled solely by gallons of haterade. Now, I just feel a deep pity for people who dislike me because damn, it must be rough on you to be so reminiscent of wet cardboard.

It must also suck to have so much vitriol towards someone who never gives you a second thought. This particular tactic, I learned in Ad School, when we were taught about the Coca-Cola's strategy towards Pepsi Cola: For over a century since Coke's inception, they have always acted like they are the only cola in the market. They have not once, responded to Pepsi's baited ads that often reference Coke, nope, they carry on as though no one is talking. Mercedes does this with other luxury car brands as well and learning that, gave me the gumption to treat people who loathe me with the apathy I often do. I highly recommend it.

Prior to seeing that tweet from Sammi, I had started to falter a bit in my resolve - losing people you thought were friends and loved accordingly will do that to you - but then, one quiet, unassuming day on Twitter, he let loose a few characters and I was pulled from that abyss and reset on my course. Amazing, isn’t it? Live your life as yourself, you never know whose life you could change with an offhanded comment. Keep them kind though, some of you say anything behind a screen like barn animals and it is NOT cute. Anyway, follow Sammi on Twitter, he has excellent movie recommendations (@yesvs)

Until next time, au revoir.