Happy Birthday to me (and this website!)

My goodness, this website has been a long time coming! But here it is, in all its unfinished glory, simply because waiting does nothing but accomplish more waiting. And if there's one thing I've learned in almost 4 decades of existence, it is that the time will pass, whether you do the thing or not.

So, in honour of my 38th birthday, and an older, wiser me, here are 38 things I've learned in life so far (in no particular order). I won't expand on them, because I'm not a life coach. I can tell you what to do with your wardrobe, but if it's for life, you'll have to figure that one out yourself, my darling. 

Here we go:

• When you find yourself angry, interrogate it.
• Fight nice, especially when it’s someone you love.
• Stay soft.
• Spend time with your parents, the older you get, the older they get and we're all going to die.
• First swim, then save others from drowning (got this from a book, learned it the hard way)
• Repair relationships when possible, make amends when possible (but only if you want to)
• You are not obligated to forgive anybody but you must forgive yourself.
• Keep love in your heart, always (and lead with it)
• When people show you who they are, believe them (Maya Angelou was right about that)
• Trust yourself completely, your intuition is right (and even if it's wrong, you've learned something)
• Learn, unlearn, learn, unlearn, on and on and on, never stop.
• Spinning the block is stupid, respect yourself (there are literally billions of people on the planet, fucking relax)
• What you want exists, insist on it.
• Live by your own rules, it is literally your life (don't go breaking the law though)
• Hold yourself to the same standards you hold others (if your standards are too low, raise them)
• If you’re going to forgive, you must also forget.
• Your feelings have something to say - no matter what they are - listen to them (yes, especially your rage)
• Violence can be the answer.

Fun little video break while you digest that last one. 

Stop looking for remorse from thoughtless people (hold the grudge as long as you please)

Walk away from people who think you’re a lot (there is no such thing as a lot, you are just right)

Self-awareness is the best gift you can give yourself but self awareness with no self improvement is useless. Might as well chew gum since you want to waste your own time.

Put effort into your friendships, especially when you’re in a romantic relationship.

Time is finite and is the most valuable thing you own, stop wasting it on things that make you shrink.

Take care of yourself, make time for yourself, you matter more than anything else. You are your first priority (first daughters I'm looking right at you)

Stop being cruel to the past version of yourself who made bad decisions, you did your best with what you had.

Forgive yourself for all the times you betrayed yourself for someone else, it has happened, let it go.

Do not cover up for abuse, you only enable it, if someone is an asshole, tell everyone (LOUDLY and continuously)

You are not obligated to reveal anything about your life to anyone if you don't want to.

Spend time with your siblings (if you're an only child, I'm sorry)

Sometimes, just walk away. People are mad.

Stay the version of yourself that makes you happy (do not let anyone's dusty opinion change you)

You are not too anything for any outfit, wear what you want.

The internet is fake, don’t let it influence your life. 

Document your life darling, you’re worth remembering.

Do not be so desperate for love that you are blind to manipulation.

Do not be so jaded by manipulation that you are blind to love.

Live, there are no do overs for life.

Technology is just as much friend as it is foe. That said, AI is not your friend. Be careful with it.